night crawlerrr

i seem to all of sudden get interested in homework once its time for bed. inspiration hits me all of a sudden this urge to write and work takes over. it's pretty weird.
i have some early action deadlines due this week. I'm only doing like two schools early action, and I regret not getting on the ball earlier and doing it for more schools. However, I just will make my application much better for the regular deadlines in January.

its been a weird week, and i've been considering a lot of things lately. i've come to terms with the fact that most of the close friends I have now won't be so close next year. it's a little disheartening to figure who i'll lose and who i won't, but it also gives me a sense of security to know whats to come. the only problem is that i might end up distancing myself from people who i feel i'll lose touch with. i don't want to do it, but part of me has that instinct. i'm going to try to live it up, and live without any inhibitions. i really dont want to intentionally lose friends or make this year harder for myself. i just want a memorable senior year, and so far, its been exactly that.

i'm figuring who i am as a person, and what really interests me. im not afraid anymore either to just do what i want. granted, i tend to do this a little too aggresively and rudely, but im working on that. im still a teen. i make mistakes, so i apologize in advance if i offend.

winter is creeping up and im hating it. im done with the fall and ready for spring. honestly, i dont need the winter. fuck a white christmas. i just want to be warm on the holidays.