my time

I've spent the past year around the seniors, hearing their rumors, gossip, complaints, and worries. I've seen them go through the college process and I've watched some of them mature into young adults. Today wrapped up the year I've spent with them. I helped with their Class Day, so I was around to see it all. Watching them at breakfast, there was something funny that I sensed, and I didn't realize until that the funny thing I was feeling was unity. The class was one. Everyone seemed content and they all seemed as one, ready to graduate and become college students. The speeches were sweet and I admit that I got teary eyed a couple times. Everything just kept reminding me of next year and how I'll have to leave everyone, but a huge part of me now understands how happy I feel.
I'm going to be embarking on my own journey soon. Now the light is on me and the rest of my class. It's time for college visits, SAT's, and college applications. It's our time to unite and become a solidified unit. The thought brings me chills and it makes me anxious. I'm sad that the seniors have to leave, because I was comfortable with being a junior. However, it's time for the class of 2010 to step up. '09 had their year and it's ending. That means it's time for a new class of seniors to take charge.
With that, so long seniors. You will be missed, but it really is time for a little perfect10n ;)

Best Week Ever

I've had the best week ever, and for no particular reason, really. Everything has just been laid back for the past couple of days and I've been in a great mood. I hope this keeps up for the rest of the school year.


I found out that we're playing Wachusett for districts this Saturday, and I don't know if I'm happy or annoyed about that. I'm happy because we played them last year at districts too, and they beat us. Then Ann and I played their second doubles team at this tournament and lost to them. I sort of want some revenge and they're a good challenge. I'm still sick of them though. All I want to tell them is to get out of my life so I could play someone else, haha. Whether we lose or not is alright. We're seeded #4 in central mass so that's not too bad :)
And who said public schools can't work it?? ;)


Home in forty four days. Considering not coming back and marrying a cute polish boy. We'll see how that works out though.

btdubz this song by Gaga is amazing and I love it. She doesn't start singing till the 1:50 mark and then around the 7:00 mark she starts to tear shit up. it's crazyy and I love the song.

Realization

Recently I've come to realize two things: how much I love high school as well as how much I can't wait to leave it. A huge part of me is looking forward to my senior year so I could take on new responsibilities and finally tackle the whole college thing. I've always loves having a sense of independence and responsibilities and next year will finally give me a full taste of that. The problem is that I'll eventually have to grow up, and give up my carelessness and indifference towards things.
I complain that I'm sick of everybody and so ready to meet new people. I say that I'm sick of high school drama and ready for some reality but the fact is that I value all of the teenage craziness going on. It reminds me of how simple my life is, and although I hate that sometimes, I'm thankful for it because I'm free from hardship. I love high school and the community feel that takes place, even though it can be a pain. I'm afraid of losing contact with people after high school, and that's what makes me so not ready to leave, despite my complaints.
I'm the worst with keeping in touch, and I've been trying really hard to make a better effort to stay in touch with people. I'm so scared of losing friends and losing contact with people because I handle those kinds of situations the worst. I'm always curious as to what's going on with people and I know I'll just go crazy if I lose someone and won't be able to talk to them. I'm so scared of that happening and that's the only reason why I want to stay in high school forever.
I guess you can say that the whole feeling is bittersweet. Part of me is so psyched to gain some freedom and independence, but another part of me is so scared to face the consequences of all that.

scholarship overdrive

i'm on the extreme hunt for money to pay for college.
it's been on my mind a lot lately so I've been looking for scholarships to apply to. I've just spent the past two hours doing scholarship stuff (research, applications, profiles, etc.) and now I'm exhausted. I can't focus anymore and I'm done with college for today.
time to do homework and then pass out.


On another note, today was our last season game, and we beat David Prouty. The next week and a half will be straight practice until Districts. Next Wednesday we find out who we're playing. Hopefully it's not Wachusett because they are way too good. We're 15-3 now, and most likely we'll be put up against some crazy team and get smashed. =/


I'll find out my SAT Subject Test scores tomorrow. That should be interesting.....

grew up dreaming of suburbia perfection and now all I want is to live in the grungy city of new york with the struggling, diverse, and rebellious.
was afraid to swear because i was afraid God would send me to hell. i could care less now, and have no idea what to believe in anymore.
used to have a role model, but now the roles are reversed.
used to dream of being a pro skater, and now i wish i was playing tennis at the French Open.
never would have thought that I would want to live in another country, especially one in which my parents left to have a better life.
thought i was always right and had the best morals.
was humbled and i learned to be more accepting.
talked to my cats....wait i still do that nevermind.




things change. i've changed.
the person I am today is a stranger to the girl I knew years ago.



57

it's over

AP stress is officially over for me, at least until next year, when I'm overloaded with AP's. That's nothing to worry about now, though. I can finally relax, watch FRIENDS all after noon, go for runs, or just do absolutely nothing. All of my others classes are jokes compared to AP, so I really have nothing to worry about. Finals will go smoothly, and I'm pretty much in summer mode already.
All I really worry about now is tennis, and that's not even like a worry. I just go in and play and I'm done. Everythings great right now, though. We made it to districts, I'm getting my SAT Subject Test scores next week (I am so not excited for that), and I feel good about how my exams went. I'm on cruise control now :)




58

I spent my Mother's Day in Shrewsbury playing tennis all day. Ann and I won a match and lost a match, so it wasn't bad. We walked out proud, and surprisingly we weren't treated like trash. Most people seemed to either not know that we were from South or completely disregard it. It was a fun experience, and it was kind of interesting to see how dedicated people are to the sport. Though, I don't think I can spend too much time around some of the people that were there.
After Ann and I won our first match this woman came up to us and congratulated us. It was some random woman and she noticed that we were about to go play Wachusett. She said she watched the Wachusett girls play and she gave us tips on how to beat them. She was really nice and encouraging. I was so taken aback by her politeness though that I didn't listen to a single word she said. I was just glad that she was being so friendly. All I could do was nod and smile, which must have seemed pretty dumb but Ann was talking for me so it was all good.
I wish I could have done something cool for mother's day but I didn't have the time and my mom doesn't really have many interests that would allow me to devise some sort of special mother's day gift or celebration for her. It's whatever, though. She knows I love her, and vice versa. We don't need the celebrations to prove that.

wiped

pimped that ap us history exam (or atleast i think so?)
pimped the tennis game (that i know for sure)
we won 4-1
it was funny hearing one of the doherty girls say "I beat South!" like she was proud. I've never heard anyone so proud to beat us, because we've never been a challenge before. thankfully, our girls tennis teams beasts the other worcester teams (and a few suburbia nobodies), so we've become this sudden threat O:).
busy weekend, and next week will be moderately busy until after wednesday.
could really care less about anything right now. i just want it to be summer, and i just want to chill.
too lazy for anything, even dress shopping. which is a shocker cause i love shopping.



63 days left.
do i have a countdown on iGoogle? you bettt.
guess home really is where the heart is.

Official Date

July 11th is when I'm finally free. Me, myself, and I on a straight flight to Poland.
Gone for three weeks.
Dream come true.
Counting down the days..

going back to what i know

I just realized that I've been so busy with life that I haven't had time to do anything that I actually enjoy, like making/editing videos, remixing music, photoshopping, and taking pictures. All those things I used to do so often for fun, and I really miss it. I want to get back into it. I'm going to try to commit some time to doing those things, and maybe even indulge in some new "toys", like a camera or something. I also just found my old guitar, and now a part of me wants to learn to play. We'll see how that pans out though.

the best