it feels good to finally do what i want. it's my life, and i could make my own decisions. i don't live for other people's pleasure. i live for my own, and i don't think people realize this.

i was once so convinced that i was a girl with definitive interests, goals, and ideas.

truth is i didn't have a clue as to who i was.
i still don't.
but the fact that i've realized this makes me feel better than ever. i'm finally secure in my indecisiveness and it feels great to finally just take on the world.



"oh girl, shock like an electric eel. you turn me on with your electric feel." - song never gets old for me.

"you want what you can't have, oh girl that's too damn bad."

story of my life.
everything in this world that i enjoy or love are things unattainable to me.
call me greedy. i just want to be happy, and i wont be until i finally get a hold of what i want.
college, poland, love, whatever, i'll get it all sooner or later.
it just sucks that i can't be content with what i have now.
why cant i just settle and take what i can get?

amazing

i feel like i've been on ecstasy all week, and everything just keeps getting better and better.
i love the world right now.

Can i just say

that it feels so amazing to have my own money and spend it any way I please. It shouldn't be such a big deal, but I feel so weirdly empowered by it. I finally have a job and I finally have my own, hard earned money to spend. It's so crazy how excited I am by just a smidge of independence.
I don't know how I'm going to handle going away to college. I think my head might explode with joy because I'll just feel so amazing over the fact that I'll be on my own.

chills

its easy

to look like you got your shit together.